‘Buts’ are only allowed on the dance floor

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The universe is listening. And it’s taking you literally.

That’s according to Danielle Mercurio, aka New You City Coach. This 30-year-old New York City-based personal lifestyle coach helps others overcome some of the same issues she battled herself: the insecurities, confusion, and loneliness that can come with adulthood, especially in the Big City. One of the ways in which she shares her wisdom is through regular, call-in radio shows via the Life Coach Radio Network. Her most recent episode, “Learn How to Manifest Your Dream Life,” explores how to make your dreams a reality through positive affirmations and manifestation meditations.

Feeling stuck?

Danielle points out that when we get to adulthood, there’s typically a lot of pressure to start making changes and figure out what we want to do – who to be with, what we should do for a living, where to live. We just kind of choose things – not necessarily what we want – because it’s an answer. But are we getting into habits that aren’t really benefitting us in the long run? And why are most of us complaining so much? If it isn’t our job, it’s our body image or relationship or lack thereof, and this negativity tends to set the tone for our day-to-day lives. It’s easy to complain, compare ourselves to others, and throw in the towel, but that’s just playing the victim, and it’s sending the universe a message.

Get out of the rut

Danielle says that affirmation is our way out of this whole stuck-in-bitterness thing. And she believes in a little thing called the Law of Attraction. You know when you’re walking down the stairs in your new wedges, thinking don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall? What do you do? Fall, of course. That’s because you were thinking about falling. Probably picturing the epic tumble and resulting scrapes and bruises, too, huh? You’re projecting those intentions and setting yourself up for it to actually happen.

Or maybe you find your inner dialogue predicting things like I’ll never get married or I’m going to screw up that presentation at work next week. You might just think it’s a cry for help or a little pity party (which is OK once in a while, I mean, c’mon, we’re human), but, really, it’s your truth. Danielle says we need to learn how to shift our thoughts – even if we don’t believe them at first – and affirm to ourselves “I will be loved, I will be married,” and “I am capable, I will do a great job.” Positive thoughts won’t set you up for a negative outcome.

And on that note, quit canceling out the good things you say to yourself with a “but” – i.e., “I think I did a good job at the interview, but I doubt I’ll get the job.” The universe has selective hearing, and it’s hearing the negative. In fact, we may be thinking this way because we’re actually scared or worried of what will happen if we do succeed. Try to change your language by removing words like “never” and “can’t” and instead set clear intentions for what you want. As Danielle says, “buts” are only allowed on the dance floor.

Manifestation meditations
One technique Danielle recommends for practicing positive affirmations or making changes is the manifestation meditation. This can be practiced any time by following these summarized steps:
  • Acknowledge whatever is frustrating you the most or an area you are most ready to change
  • In a relaxed seated position, begin to take deep, slow, deliberate breaths and close your eyes
  • Recognize that you are in a safe space of acceptance and love
  • Go back to the initial thought and say to yourself “I am ready for this change to occur” and “I am willing to look at this with a new perspective”
  • Choose your own “I am” affirmation as it relates to this change you’re ready to make (e.g., I am attracting only good opportunities into my life) and notice how this affirmation feels
  • Continue to breathe and start to visualize what it looks like to achieve your goal
  • When you’re ready to open your eyes, take a moment to assess how you feel and write down anything that came up for you
Connect with Danielle
All of Danielle’s past radio episodes are available on iTunes as free podcasts. To learn more about her, follow her @NewYouCityCoach on Twitter or like her on Facebook.
Originally published on the former Sweetlemonmag.com.

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